Puerto Rico Honeymoon

Destination: San Juan, Puerto Rico

Dates: July 27th-Aug 3rd, 2014

Reason: Honeymoon

Day 1 July 27th, 2014

Julia and I were married yesterday in a spectacular ceremony.  We stayed out until 3:00am, despite needing to head down to the airport at 7:00am.  My parents (now OUR parents) picked us up from the Hilton Garden Inn in Mason, Ohio at 7:00am and drove us to CVG.  Our flight was scheduled to leave at 9:15am for Charlotte, NC, and from there to San Juan, but as luck would have it, as the plane we were supposed to fly on was landing during its previous flight it was struck by lightning, and maintenance crews could not repair it in time.

I’ll make a long story short.  Our flight was pushed back, and back, and back, and finally our connecting flight in Charlotte was impossible to make.  We were rescheduled on another plane out of Charlotte that would arrive in San Juan around 6:00pm (we were originally supposed to get in around 3:30pm).  As our flight time from CVG kept getting pushed back, it became clear that we would miss this connection as well.  Julia was furious.  Finally, around 11:00am, they officially cancelled our flight and re-booked us with a new airline.  (Don’t fly US Air!)

Now, our itinerary was to leave CVG at 2:15pm on American Airlines and get into Dallas-Fort Worth at 4:05pm.  From there, we would catch a 4:45pm to San Juan, arriving at 10:30pm local time.  Both of us were grouchy, and some soup and a beer from Max & Erma’s did not soothe us.

The flight to Dallas-Fort Worth left on time and was smooth.  We rode over the tops of clouds for most of it.  Our descent was a bit bumpy.  When we arrived, we only had a few minutes to catch our connection, and we had to take the monorail to another concourse.  Thankfully we made it, but our luggage did not.

From Dallas to San Juan was no problem.  The flight was incredibly smooth.  Julia and I sat across the aisle from each other.  It took about 4 hours, so our behinds were sore, but we both took Dramamine and slept almost the whole time.  The man sitting next to me was extremely pleasant, and gave me a lot of great advice on things to do and see in Puerto Rico.  I don’t recall most of what he said, but the more important items were secure in my brain.

We landed in San Juan at 10:30pm, and the Puertorriqueños on the plane let out a cheer and applauded.  Very different from what I’m used to.  Upon leaving the plane, we headed to the baggage claim, but were unable to locate our bags.  Turns out, they missed the connection in Dallas, and ended up in Miami.  The staff at the airport was very helpful and gave us free toiletries for our troubles.

A taxi picked us up and drove us to the Condado Plaza Hilton in the heart of the Condado neighborhood of San Juan.  At the check-in counter Julia surreptitiously showed her bridal veil and the man at the desk, Roberto, asked if we were on our honeymoon.  Then he upgraded us to a room with an ocean view.

In our room, we decided to take a quick nap then head down to the hotel bar to grab a drink.  However, as all naps taken at 12:00am do, it turned into a good night’s rest.

Day 2 July 28th, 2014

We rested well.  Woke up around 10:00am and explored the hotel.  It had many amenities, and seemed a little swanky, but you could tell it was a lot more hip 30 or 40 years ago.  It had a few restaurants, bars, a casino, and a lot of retro-modern furniture.  Most importantly, it had 3 pools, a swim-up bar, a hot tub, and a beach.

After exploring we had lunch at the Cafe Caribe in the hotel.  Julia had a Cuban sandwich and I had a churrasco sandwich.  Both were excellent.  Full from lunch, we returned to the room and took a nap.  Then we donned our bathing suits and hit the beach.

The water is much clearer than Florida, so naturally Julia was on the lookout for fish.  I accidentally sat on a rock, which we then proclaimed ‘Butt Rock’.  The beach was in a lagoon; not very oceanic.  The water was still and there were virtually no waves.  So we only stayed a short time and went to the pool.

The pools were great.  One was saltwater.  After swimming we returned to our room and changed into evening wear.  Then we went to the hotel’s main bar.  We ended up spending way too much on drinks, but we had a good time.  We somehow made it to our room and went to bed.

Day 3 July 29th, 2014

Made our way to Denny’s at the hotel’s other tower for lunch, after we had recovered from the previous night.  Around 1:30pm we set out to walk to Old San Juan, which is a 2 to 3 mile trip.  The walk was exhausting, but we did get to experience San Juan up close.  So much of it was run-down.  We walked around the abandoned ballpark that doubled as the Puerto Rican sports hall of fame.  We passed an enormous public beach party.  We even got to experience some of the slummier parts of San Juan, sadly.

Eventually we came to our intended destination, the first of the two Spanish forts that make up the San Juan National Historic Site, Castillo San Cristobal.  The forts were built beginning in the 16th century and were added onto throughout the duration of the Spanish Empire.  San Cristobal is the smaller of the two, but is still very imposing.  We wandered through barracks and dungeons, powder houses and battlements.  Julia’s highlight was seeing a large iguana (later to be named Eduardo).  There were also stunning views of the Atlantic Ocean and back over toward downtown San Juan.

Leaving San Cristobal, we walked along the top of the old city walls toward the other fort, Castillo San Felipe del Morro.  We saw more iguanas and even a parrot.  The pathway is unusual, because what appear to be slums are built right up against centuries old fortifications.

Coming upon El Morro was breathtaking.  There is a vast lawn leading up to the entrance, and many San Juaneros were out for picnics and flying kites.  They were running all over the walls of the fort.  We came across a portion of the grounds that overlooked an ancient Catholic cemetery.

Inside El Morro was much like San Cristobal.  However, it was much more extensive and composed of more layers.  The views of the ocean were more spectacular since it was built to protect a headland, and you can see into San Juan Bay on one side.  We also spied the Bacardi distillery, which we planned on visiting.

Around 5:00pm we were very weary and sweaty and decided to head into the heart of Old San Juan.  We had a map, but also wanted to just kind of wander.  So we took off down Calle Del Cristo.  This turned out to be the perfect street.

Many trendy, expensive shops are on this street.  And plenty of local restaurants too.  I really wanted to see La Fortaleza, the governor’s mansion, so we kept a lookout.  We came to the end of Del Cristo and hadn’t seen it, but we did come across the Parque de las Palomas (Park of the Doves).  Except the doves were pigeons… Hundreds of them.  The noise was incredible.  I found a large crust of bread and managed to get dozens to flock around us.

We left the park and found we were only a block from La Fortaleza, so we finally found it.  The building is a soft blue, trimmed in white.  It was one of the first buildings erected in San Juan, and kind of looked that way.  After Fortaleza, we found the Cathedral of San Juan Bautista, where Ponce de Leon is interred.  Turning directly around from there we wandered through side streets that were lined with absolutely gorgeous houses.  They had flower pots all over terraces and were coated with vibrant colors.  We also found lots of cats.

Everywhere in Old San Juan you can find cats.  Under cars, on top of statues, resting on 400 year old walls.  Every kind of cat too.  Julia snapped a picture of each one.  We noticed, oddly, that many of them were missing the tip of an ear, an indication of being neutered or spayed.  At one point while we were browsing (cat hunting), we came across a small park that overlooked the ocean.  The park had a strange statue in the center (and a cat, of course), but also had an amazing view of San Juan Bay.  Down in the water were about a dozen big, fat starfish.  Julia and I had never seen anything like it.

Around 7:00pm we were tired of walking and chose to take a taxi back to our hotel.  The driver didn’t speak to us much, but did an odd parody of a woman’s voice when we paid him.

Back at the hotel we showered and went to dinner at the 8 Noodle Bar down on the mezzanine level, directly next to the casino.  Julia got fresh sushi and I had garlic pork.  Then we hit the pool.  The sun goes down around 7:30pm, so it was dark, but we got time in the hot tub.  We met two people from Toledo who gave us great advice on how to get around San Juan.  They were extremely friendly.

We left the pool and sat for a while on chairs by the ocean, then went up to our room and to bed.

Day 4 July 30th, 2014

Julia awoke first this morning.  We hung around the room for a bit just taking in the sights from our balcony.  Around 11:00am we went down to the lobby and made reservations for our trip to the rainforest.  Then we left the hotel and explored the Condado region to our left (east).  On the advice from our friends from the night before we walked about a mile and a half and discovered new restaurants and hotels, as well as a sandier beach.  We stopped at a Walgreens to get snacks and beer so we could have cheap drinks at the beach.  Oh, and Julia finally got her Starbucks fix.  

After a quick stop at the room to unload groceries, we took the bus to Old San Juan.  Each way was only 75 cents a person, compared to the $20 for a taxi.  I must make a note about the driving in San Juan: it is suicidal.  People do not obey speed limits, drive in specific lanes, or worry about oncoming traffic.  It is insane.

The bus dropped us off in Old San Juan and we walked to catch a ferry to take us over to Cataño, where the Bacardi distillery is.  On our way we each saw a real cruise ship for the first time.  San Juan has the busiest cruise ship port in the world, and 3 were docked when we strolled by.  Those boats are massive!  We felt insignificant in their presence, and Julia was even a little scared of them.

The ferry we took only cost 50 cents each way, and it was a short journey across the bay.  Along the way we got to see El Cañuelo a little closer.  El Cañuelo is a smaller fort built across the bay’s mouth from El Morro.  Upon landing we were directed to go to the right in order to catch a cab to the distillery.  But Julia and I were too slick for that.  A man in a van pulled up and offered to take us, and even said he we would sit and wait while we toured, so we wouldn’t have to try and flag down a cab to get back.  He said he only charged $2 more than the other cabs, but reiterated that we wouldn’t have to wait later.

I was skeptical, but I looked at Julia and she seemed to find the deal favorable, so we climbed in.  (I came to find out later that Julia was also skeptical, but thought I seemed fine with it.)  The driver introduced himself as Angelo, and said he was from New York.  He was a cab driver there.  I rode in the back, but I was told to keep the door to the van open.  So we careened down the highway with the door open.

Luckily, we made it to the distillery intact.  Angelo dropped us off and went to park, after we paid him $20.  We got our tickets for the distillery tour (free!) and two vouchers apiece for rum tasting.  Julia got a pineapple rum with passion fruit juice and I got a rum punch.  They were delicious.  After the first round, Julia wanted a snack so she bought a pizza empanada.  We took a spin around the gift shop, then went back to use our other voucher.  This time, she got a Cuba Libre and I got a Bacardi Oakheart and Coke.  Both were very refreshing.

We waited about 45 minutes, then our tour was called.  On our way to join the tour, we noticed that Angelo was indeed parked and was waiting for us.  We then each discovered that neither trusted the man, and were unwilling to ride back with him.  Every idiotic travel story begins with, “I got in a strange van…”

Anyhow, the tour was fun.  A guide named Nina drove us around various buildings and gave us the basic history of Bacardi.  The grounds were pretty, but the buildings seemed outdated.  We did see iguanas though, which always brighten our day.

The driving portion only lasted about 5 minutes, after which we were ushered into a visitor’s center.  Nina then took us through the distillation process and we wathced a movie about the whole Bacardi history.  There were lots of cool exhibits, including one where we got to smell all of the rums and even samples of molasses and pre-distilled rum.  The tour concluded with a neat little show put on by an official Bacardi bartender named Tomás who told us all about the Cuba Libre, original daiquiri, and mojito.  Finally, we got to sample a small portion of Oakheart, Bacardi’s newest rum that is aged in old oak bourbon barrels.  We left the visitor’s center and hopped back on the tram.

When we pulled back up to the front, Julia and I were delighted to see that Angelo had left.  We split a cab with a nice old Spanish couple and learned our lesson.  The drive back was unremarkable other than we cruised through a rough part of town.

We took the ferry back to Old San Juan and decided to walk around a bit.  Julia noticed a food cart, so we had to try some Puerto Rican delicacies.  She got bacalaitos (fried cod) and a beef empanada.  I only tried the bacalaitos and they were amazing.

This time around, we mostly stuck to walking on the streets and sidewalks near the ocean, along a pathway called the Paseo Princesa, named after a jail built in the 1700’s that was converted into a hotel and then into a governmental building.  The views of the ocean were incredible, of course, and we got to see crabs, starfish, and sea urchins up close.  Cats too.  The entire area by the sea is gorgeous, with numerous statues and small parks.

Eventually we wandered back into the heart of Old San Juan.  We cruised down new streets and discovered the more touristy section.  Julia stopped in a souvenir shop to buy gifts.  Then I started getting antsy because I couldn’t find our bus stop, but Julia is an expert at wayfinding and got us to it in no time.

When we returned to Condado we stopped in our room briefly and then headed out to dinner.  We went to the east, where we explored earlier in the day.  Julia got some bubble tea, then we ate a a very funky restaurant.  The place said it served authentic Puerto Rican cuisine, which is exactly what we wanted.  We had to walk through two dining rooms to be seated, but we ended up right by the sea.

We ordered paella valenciana, which came with pork, chicken, steak, and sausage.  The menu said it was to be shared between 2 people.  However, it would easily have fed 8.  So, we had a ton of leftovers for the hotel fridge.  The service was fantastic at this restaurant as well.  Our server was incredibly nice and made an excellent recommendation of sweet plantains.  At the end of the meal she conversed with Julia for a while about bubble tea.

After dinner Julia took a brief nap while I wrote this, then we went for a late night swim and called it a night shortly thereafter.  However, for the second night in a row Julia was awakened around 1:00am by some new noisy neighbors.  She and I tramped down to the lobby, and a security guard accompanied us back up, but the others had quieted down.

Day 5 July 31st, 2014

Our loud neighbors woke up around 7:00am and started screaming in the hallway.  Julia, ever the light sleeper, was more than grouchy since she had now been awakened by them on 3 separate occasions.  She took matters into her own hands and got us a new room.  Goodbye 836; hello 502.  The view wasn’t as spectacular, but it was more secluded, so we hoped for some peace and quiet.

Today was a rest and relaxation day.  We went down to the pool area early, around 9:30am, with 3 beers a piece.  After an hour or so of laying out we went down to the beach.  I wanted an umbrella by our chairs, but it cost extra, so I settled for sitting in the sun.  One of the hotel staff pointed out an enormous caterpillar that thrives on the island.  The coloration was spectacular.

The ocean water was perfect.  So clear and so warm.  We swam out a ways, and Julia seemed fine.  She did get freaked out a few times by seaweed and the like, but overall she was a real sport.  I saw some rather large reef fish nearby, but I didn’t tell her.

When we beached ourselves I read while Julia sculpted sand.  She made an incredible upright likeness of Luna.  I wish we could have got a picture of it.  We sat out for about an hour then headed up for lunch.  Cold leftover paella.

After lunch Julia went back down to swim and I took an hour nap.  At 3:00pm I went back down too and found her standing in the ocean.  By this time my shoulders were already sunburnt, so I kept a shirt on.  Julia found a lot of wonderful animals.  Small fishes were swimming around the coral rocks.  Urchins were stuck everywhere.  A guy even came by with a starfish he found in the shallows.  It was really something to see it crawl along the surf as it waggled its way back out to sea.

Julia bought a ‘coco frio’, something she had wanted to do all trip.  It was literally just a hacked up coconut with a straw.  The water inside tasted disgusting to me, but she loved every drop of it.  We relaxed for another bit, then went up to get some poolside drinks.  The hotel credited us $50 for our inconvenience, so we made use of it.

After the drinks we hit the hot tub.  3 members of some flash-in-the pan band, R5, were in the tub with us, talking about a music video they were shooting.  Girls around the pool were getting pictures with them.  We were able to contain our excitement and sat by the sea wall for a while.

We returned to our room and just enjoyed the peacefulness of the evening.  The walls were paper-thin, so at 9:45pm I did have to go talk to our new neighbors to ask them to keep it down.  They were very nice and complied immediately.  I did wake up a few times in the middle of the night because the next day we planned to go to the rainforest, and I was very excited, yet also anxious about the car ride.

Day 6 August 1st, 2014

An alarm got us up at 7:45am because our tour to El Yunque had to leave the hotel at 9:00am.  We met up with the tour guide and got into a minivan.  We were soon joined by another young couple and a family of 4.  The tour guide introduced herself as Mina and explained that we had to pick up 2 more people from another hotel.  Then we headed to another part of Condado and a man with one leg and his wife joined us.  Everyone introduced themselves and we were off.

The drive took about 40 minutes and we passed through slums and rural towns on our way up the mountain and into the rainforest.  Everything was rusted and corroded from the humid tropical air, which seemed to be a motif in Puerto Rico.  Upon arriving at El Yunque we stopped at El Portal, the visitor’s center, and watched a short film narrated by Benicio Del Toro while Julia munched a breakfast sandwich.  After the film we got back in the van and Mina took us to the Yokahu observation tower near the peak of the mountain.  The tower overlooks the forest and coastal plain and gave us amazing views of the surroundings.  At the tower I also found a giant tree snail, which we later saw in abundance on the trails.

After the tower we drove back down a bit and hiked a couple trails.  The going was a bit treacherous, since everything was constantly wet and we were climbing over rocks, but the flora around us was astonishing.  Being in the rainforest was a beautiful experience.  Unfortunately, those large snails were the only wildlife we saw.

We hiked for half an hour then loaded back up and made our last stop in El Yunque at La Coca waterfall.  The water flowed down a massive sheer rock wall and tumbled over boulders before submerging beneath the street.  We got some excellent pictures, but the site was very busy so we didn’t spend much time there.  In the van, Mina put to a vote what we were going to do next: eat lunch at a small roadside stand, or head to the beach at Luqillo and find food there.  It was unanimous in favor of the beach.

The drive to Luqillo took 15 minutes.  Julia and I were expecting a secluded, private beach, and were surprised to find something different.  Instead, the beach was noisy and full of other mainland US tourists.  We were preoccupied with our things being stolen, so we were very cautious when selecting a spot to camp.  Eventually we settled near the water and waded in.

Immediately Julia spotted a small school of minnows.  She ‘eeeked’ and popped back on the shore.  I laughed and drifted off, looking for more fish.  The beach at Luquillo is prettier than in Condado.  The water is clearer and the sand is softer.  The waves are gentle, which is too bad.  We stayed in shallow water for a while, so on the shore or up to her knees, me floating between the deeper water and her.  At some point I got out to lay on my towel and a very nice couple from Texas gave me the remainder of their rental on a pair of chaise lounges and an umbrella, as well as a pair of flippers and goggles.  Julia was very excited, and I felt much relieved, because I could already feel sunburn kicking in on my back.

We sat out for about 40 minutes, then Julia looked for a bathroom to change back into street clothes.  Her experience was harrowing because the public bathrooms were abysmal.  Sinks were torn off walls, there was no toilet paper, and everything was decrepit and stinky.  So we remained in our wet bathing suits.  Julia did meet a man who advised us to visit in the winter months because that’s when humpback whales come through.

Our minds turned to food.  A lady who works with me and is from Puerto Rico suggested eating at the kiosks along the beach.  We trekked 5 minutes through garbage and litter to reach them, but it was worth it.  The food was all fried and greasy, but so very good.  Julia got a mashed potato and beef relleno and a lobster empanada, while I had a relleno and carne empanada.  We shared some conch fritters in a dough pocket.

The van was leaving at 3:30pm, so we had to hustle with our food to get back.  We made it in time and endured the 40 minute ride back to Condado.  We changed into fresh bathing suits and hit the pool and hot tub to while away the time before our 8:30pm reservation at Pikayo, the fancy restaurant in our hotel.  On the news, they said a tropical storm (Bertha) would hit Puerto Rico sometime in the morning the next day.

My parents gave us some money  with the specific instructions to have a fancy dinner on them.  We dressed up very well (Julia in a wonderful black dress and I in a tie and blazer) and met our reservation at Pikayo.  The restaurant is part of the hotel, but walled off and set apart.  Both of us felt a little out of place, but relaxed once the waiters came around.  The service was excellent and the food was sublime.  We each got a Puerto Rican tasting dinner, which consisted of 5 courses designed to represent various cuisines of the island.  I can’t recall each meal specifically, but I ate gouda with a delectable sauce, swordfish served over beans, shredded pork and plantain with sweet mango sauce, churrasco with crispy potato sticks, and the absolute best flan I’ve ever tasted.  Julia had the same, though instead of churrasco she had shrimp in some kind of white sauce.

At some point during dinner, Julia ‘let slip’ that we were on our honeymoon, so we were given complimentary champagne.  Everything was delicious and amazing- until our bill came.  Neither of us had ever spent so much on food in our lives, so it was quite a shock.  The quality of the food, though, helped make up for the price.  After dinner we waddled through the casino but spent no money, and then headed up to the room.  We were so stuffed that we collapsed into bed and stayed there until morning.

Day 7 August 2nd, 2014

Tropical Storm Bertha was just starting to make landfall as we woke up.  Julia was fascinated by the storm clouds.  She also had a distinct craving for pancakes, but the hotel Denny’s was jammed, so we walked about half a mile to a small, funky waffle restaurant.  She had a waffle sandwich with salmon and cilantro and I had a waffle with peanut butter and almonds.  Then we explored the Condado area and poked around in some local shops.

When we returned to the hotel we put on our bathing suits and braved the hot tub and salt water pool, despite the rain.  The outside bar was offering 2 for 1 sangrias, so we drank our fill.  A plate of french fries rounded it all out.

In the hot tub we meet a good number of strangers.  A young couple from Washington DC was very outgoing, and kept making videos of themselves declaring their love for each other and the lord.  Another couple from Philadelphia was very typical and touristy.  They were just ‘here for the beer,’ and didn’t care too much about Puerto Rico’s amazing history.  Lastly, a nice 14 year old girl from St Louis gave us some very pleasant conversation.

6 hours of being in the hot tub took its toll on us, and we went to our room to dry off.  After a brief nap, we went down to the lobby for some souvenir shopping and to snap some pictures.  This being our last day on the island, both of us were in quite a funk.  We missed our families, of course, and our precious little Luna, but neither of us wanted to leave.  Our experience had been incredible and the relaxation was just what the doctor ordered.

We went back up to the room.  The tv was on but nothing of interest was playing.  We were all packed up but not ready to leave.  As I turned out the light on the last night in that beautiful place, we could hear the coqui frogs, the surf, and soft music drifting up from the restaurant below us.  We knew we’d miss the place.

Day 8 August 3rd, 2014

Our flight was at 8:30am, so we woke up about 6:00am.  The taxi drive to the airport was uneventful and Julia had a hard time saying goodbye to the island.  She had never been through an FDA checkpoint before, so she got to experience another first.  No problems boarding and the flight departed on time.

It was miserable.  The family in front of us was completely obnoxious.  The mom kept snapping gum and her 2 daughters constantly screamed and bounced around and refused to put on seat belts.  We managed to sleep some, but it was still a long 3 hours.

Our layover was in Philadelphia and our connecting flight was delayed by 45 minutes.  Nothing exciting happened during the flight.  Can’t complain about that.

My mom picked us up from CVG and took us to our apartment.  She informed us that my sister had her cat put down.  At the apartment we met my dad and sister and were reunited with Luna.  That alone was a cause for celebration.  While I loved the paradise of Puerto Rico, I absolutely missed the little dog.  We all ate some pizza and mom, dad, and Michelle were regaled with our stories.  After they left we unpacked and relaxed since we had to work the next day.